Four Years Ago Today....

My life changed. 

Life changes continuously for everyone. The quirky twists and turns of a winding road yet traveled is what keeps most of us going, on our toes, geared up for what might suddenly appear before us. For many, the knee-jerk reaction is what it should be. For others, well, navigation and change might leave a person 'in the dust'...wrecked.

Four years ago today, my dad passed away.  The road he traveled was not unfamiliar to him.  While the path was physically straight, one slight twist of the pavement tossed his chosen destination out of view.  He did not make it back to Silver Lake Rd; to the house he built with my mom and loved, or back to all of us. But, he did make it home. 

The loss of my dad was significant, not just to my life, but my mom’s life and the lives of everyone around us. His absence will always be felt. (His laugh alone is unforgettable.)  

I learned so many things as a result of his death. 

I learned the good comes from the bad. - Take a negative experience (such as loss) and seek to learn a valuable lesson. Friends are critical to happiness and they drop everything to help other friends in need. 

I learned that I adapt to change fairly well. I like the unknown, the puzzle and how each piece fits to reveal something grand. My ‘emergency management’ skills aren’t half bad. ;)

I learned that I am strong and I can face anything head-on. I can clean out my dad’s office. I can go clean out his wrecked vehicle the day after. I can make those phone calls most dread:  “My dad won’t be coming back to work.” or “I’m sorry to have to tell you that your son passed away.” or “My dad passed away. Can you call everyone. My mom will need you.” 

I can take care of those around me when they need me most. I can be the person I believe he’d want me to be. Take care of mom first. I can grieve at another point in time.

I learned that God is good and there is a reason for everything. My faith is my strength.

I learned that I don’t have to do everything on my own and it’s okay to ask for help. Every now and again, I seek the advice and guidance of others around me. "How should I chart the course?" Sometimes, I have to lean on others and rely on their strength to help me through something challenging and critical in my life. 

The most important thing I learned: I couldn’t have done all of this without all of our friends and family. You are a blessing and the best gift I’ve ever received! Thanks isn’t enough. Please know that I will ALWAYS be grateful for your place in my heart. 

To EACH person who called, wrote to us, visited, made a donation to a church, organization, etc., stood in that very long line just to pay respects, attended the funeral/burial, expressed feelings in passing, said a prayer, sent an email, brought food, took care of pets, took a pet (my dad’s bird, Dixie), mentioned or still mentions my dad.......... THANK YOU! 

To:

Bob Pulliam - You became a best friend to me. From taking me to get my mom the day of the accident, taking me to my dad’s car and to the wreck site, carrying all of us to visitation (helping plan it and funeral), and funeral and burial, helping me with obit, flowers, selling my dad’s other car, helping with my mom’s surprise party, etc. You are such a special person and I am so thankful for you!

The Burton family - I cant imagine how hard it was to get the bad news and then to have to find me and tell me (and keep me still). You took care of us in a way I can’t begin to explain. Saviors! Family! To this day, you still check on me. I love y’all!

The Bearden’s, The Madden’s, The Graves - Thank you for taking care of us and for always being such amazing friends. Thank you for driving down to stay with my mom and keeping her smiling.  Your love and support means so much to us.

The Hamzy’s and The Thompson’s - Thank you for checking on us and helping us, even when the hours weren’t the best. Angels!

The Supper Club Group/Birthday Club/Bridge Group and every group my mom is a part of - Wow! I’m speechless. You all are a spectacular group and never fail to be there when we need you the most. You have helped me in more ways than one. You helped my mom in every way and even helped me plan her surprise party. You’ve done it all and I will never be able to thank you enough or explain to you how much you mean to me. Thank you for loving us!

Phil and Allison Love - My family and BF’s! Thank you for listening, talking, giving advice, keeping me laughing, keeping me working, teaching me how to play golf and for loving me and my family. You two kept me in one piece and have ALWAYS been there when I needed you. Allison, my sister, you are truly remarkable in every way! I am blessed to know you and call you one of my best friends! You always make me laugh and cheer me up. I love ya. 

Ainsley Earhardt - Thank you for always being a great friend. From phone calls to inspirational verses and songs, you make things bright. Big hugs!

Amanda Ullman Drinkall - Thank you so very much for being the most amazing friend to me. Thank you for helping me pack up my dad’s office and for keeping my spirits up and for listening. You are one of a kind.

Trista, Janet & Carrie - ‘The girls’. Thank you for always being there for me and for being awesome friends!

Susan Taylor - Thank you for listening.  You are one great lady!

Tom Hamill - Thank you for taking time to talk to this hardheaded girl. :)

Billy and Sally Jenkinson - I don’t know how you were able to tell my mom about the accident and remain calm. You were a savior. Thank you for always being such great friends.

Pam James - Thank you for helping my mom and looking after her. You helped keep a smile on her face. 

NEPC - Thank you for giving us strength and a place to worship.

Vivian McFarland - Thank you for keeping us laughing and making the room light up when you’re around, Cream.

Buddy and Emily Lewis -  Thank you for helping my mom with the house and being great friends!

Deborah Neese - Thank you for taking care of my place while I was staying with my mom. You were a lifesaver and a great neighbor and friend.

SC Insurance News Service - Thank you for being there for me, for calling, writing, email, visiting, for the flowers, for the time to be with family, for the donations to Make A Wish and for always being so supportive of me in every way. What a great family of individuals and businesses. I feel honored to know  you all and to have worked with you.

Junior League of Columbia girls - Thank you for the cards, calls, visits and for giving me a place to grow. Y’all are the best. Mary Karl - I’ll always remember your call, girl. Lol. ;)

SCDPS/SCHP/Families of Highway Fatalities (FHF)/NAWHSL - Thank you for always remembering, allowing me a place and org where i could get involved and help others. Thank you for giving me the pictures and for righting the wrong that was done. You all are great people and part of my family.

Lynwood Duke and R&J  - Thank you for organizing the Make A Wish Foundation fund in memory of my dad and for showing support and kindness.

Old friends & New friends & CC Professors - Thank you for being part of our lives and for showing kindness and love. 

OUR ENTIRE FAMILY - There aren’t enough words to express our thanks and how much you all mean to us. You keep us up and smiling. We are so blessed to know you and call you family.

AVERY HILTON “My Pops”  - You are the most amazing person. Thank you for being such a wonderful ‘pops’ and for loving me and my mom. You are such a gift from God and I’m thankful for you. I love you very much.